something very significant has happened to me on this date for the past 3 years, all relating to relationships:
-- 11/11/08 my first ever adult boyfriend broke up with me via text (don't worry, i forgave him b/c ultimately it was the right decision and we're still friends);
-- 11/11/09 my third boyfriend and current ex literally walked into my elbow and life (we are unfortunately not friends. perhaps one day, but i still care too much for him and can't quite handle the fact he's living with his new girlfriend.. love stinks sometimes);
-- 11/11/10 a simple hug to support a friend while visiting his relatives' grave sites to honor them on veterans day turned into an intimate moment that made me question if we could be more than friends (after a difficult discussion, we went the friend route, and he became one of my best friends for life);
because of this pattern, i had (perhaps unrealistic) high expectations for 11/11/11: i'd awaken to a healed heart! the love of my life (or one of them) would appear! i wouldn't have to be the only single girl at all my friends weddings!
alas, this did not happen. however, what i did learn today is that - well - even though i would want all of those things, i don't NEED them. i continue to learn to be okay with where i am in my life right now. i continue to learn to accept me for me. it's an ongoing process, but i'm getting there.
No comments:
Post a Comment