you learn something new, every day

on 1 december 2010, i had a thought. truth be told, i had many thoughts that day. but one in particular struck me in a way that only such particular thoughts can. i thought - i have everything i need to make me happy, right now. i might not have everything i WANT, but there's a big difference between NEED and WANT. this is something i've been struggling with for quite some time (as many of you know, my august 2009 - august 2010 year was a real doozy). but for some reason on that day, i felt i came to know that statement as truth.

so, you ask... who cares?

well. as many of you also know, every year i vow to make a new years resolution that will impact my life for the better. it might be a simple task (like 2008's be in more photographs - which i was quite successful in), or it might be more challenging (like 2009's be more assertive - which i failed miserably at, but ultimately learned my lessons when it comes to speaking my mind).

2010 commenced my "year of positive thinking" experiment. i vowed to only have positive thoughts, or to see the silver lining when i had negative ones. i wanted to see how that could change my life, which was unfortunately in a very rapid downward spiral. i strongly believe in the power of positive thinking. i mean - i see it all the time in healthcare. i can have two patients with the same medical diagnosis, and inevitably the one who thinks positively will get better and the one who is negative won't. and that's proof enough for me.

as 2010 comes to a close, i really have looked back on this year, and i believe i probably would not have made it through without my positivity. yes, i felt like i had a cloud over me - both literally (thanks to the glorious seattle weather) and figuratively (oh, heartbreak). yes, oftentimes the positivity felt forced and maybe fake. and yes, i was often a grump, i admit it. to my friends who stuck by me this year (especially JR, AR & KH. and yes, you too GW..) - i cannot thank you enough for putting up with me.

but that thought, that i had everything i need to make me happy, came from the realization that happiness actually comes from within. no one and nothing else can make me happy - only i can. and it was at that moment that the silly cloud lifted. both literally (the sun actually SHINED in seattle!) and figuratively (my spirit returned to a more balanced state).

before you think i'm getting all new-agey on you (and maybe i am, a little - i do meditate, do hatha yoga & completely believe in karma, after all), i'll tell you the point of this blog. that day i also thought about the old saying, "you learn something new every day." well, DUH. but i thought of another neat experiment (you can tell how bored i've become in my 3 months of unemployment). i'm going to actually notate something that i learn. every day. for a year. and i'm going to start it december 2010, as january 2011 is around the corner, and i must reserve that month for setting my new years resolution.

it always amazes me the difference a year can make. my hope is that by december 2011 i'll still continue to wonder what life as in store for me, but i'll also come to appreciate even more the lessons i learn along the way.

so here it is: the things i've learned.